KLEEN JOKES
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Why did the broom not cross the road? .... it did not want to get
swept
up by a car.
Why did the burglar take a shower? ....because he wanted to make a clean
getaway
How many other brands of "cleaners" contain chlorine,
ammonia or phosphates .......more than a phew!
Reasons It's Great to be a Bloke
1. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
2. Cleaning up after dinner is putting the dishes in the sink
3. Cleaning up the house means moving stuff from two small piles into one large pile
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners who he knew as
being an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that
the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and called, "Here
Soap! Here Water!"
ADS in a Newspaper:
*Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
* Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory.
He knocks, a lady opens the door, & before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside & dumps horse dung all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that horse dung, I'll eat every chunk of it." She says, "We
just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet. Do you
want tomato sauce on that or would you prefer mustard?"
Because I'm a guy, and this is, after all, the new millenium, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning and the dishes. I'll do the rest.
What my mother taught me about:
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to
kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you just look at the dirt
on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through
your room."
Man Calls home and the Cleaning Maid answers.
He says,"Can I speak to my wife?"
She says, "No, She's upstairs in bed with another man."
He says, "OK, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs
And kill them both."
Being the loyal maid, she says, "OK."
5 minutes later, she picks up the phone and says, "OK, they're both dead.
What should I do with the bodies?"
He says, "Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them when I get
home."
She says, "We don't have a pool."
He asks, "Is this 554-1235?"
Why did the actor become a janitor? .....because he wanted to clean up his
act.
What's cleaner than my bathroom? .....my mouth when
my mother in law visits!
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